Hi,I really enjoyed your frog and tick story. When I was reading this I remembered the story this was coming off of. I think you did a good job showing how every different aspect of life has to find a way to survive on their own time and sometimes this will come at the detriment of others.
Hello Taeam!I haven't read 'The Crocodile and the Monkey', but I do enjoy stories that give witty lessons and have characters outsmarting each other. I'll definitely have to check that story out! Have you read 'The Cunning Crane and the Crab'? It's short story that I feel is similar to the one you have read, and think you may like it as well! I liked that your story was a fast read, and got the point across quickly. I would suggest you to develop the plot of the story more if you wanted to lengthen it. I think that your writing is very interesting, and I especially liked the author's note. It's surprising that you decided to use a tick as the protagonist of your story considering the past experience you've had with them! I think the last line two sentences of your note was very clever, and it set up the little lesson in your story well. I'm excited to read more of your writing in the future!
Hi Taeam, I loved your first story about the tick and the frog! I remember reading a story similar to this before, although the characters were slightly different. I think your story is a little bit different because the tick is not just a harmless prey for the frog, but is in fact a dangerous parasite that can suck the frog's blood. I think it would be interesting if you explored this relationship a bit more, maybe adding a little to the story about the tick taking advantage of the frog falling for his trick by sucking his blood. Just a suggestion if you want to flesh out your story some more! Also, just wanted to point out that when the frog says, "You’re a tick, are you not aware of the fact that I am a frog who particularly enjoys eating frogs?", did you mean to say eating ticks? I found that part a little confusing. Beyond that, I very much enjoyed reading your first story, and I look forward to reading the rest of your project!
Hey Taeam, great job on the story. I really liked the way you added dialogues into the story. It was a unique take on a traditional story and an easy read too. I'm excited to read more from you !
Hi Taeam, I chose to read your portfolio from the class list because of the name of your title, which made me realize that I might need to tweak mine in order to catch more people's attention! Although your introduction page was blank on my screen (I'm not sure if this is a technical problem on my end or not), I quickly picked up on your portfolio theme. I enjoyed the personalization you explained in the author's note of your connection to nature growing up, and I think it gave the story more depth. Although I have not read 'The Crocodile and the Monkey', I enjoyed the humor used throughout. In the future, I suggest using more of the imagination that you proclaim to delve deeper into each of the characters' roles, which also might add some length to your stories, but also allow you to build on each of the characters' individual wittiness that you want to make known! Keep up the good work.
Hey Team,You did a really good job on your story. I really like your title, I think it is a great attention grabber. I also really like the format of your story and was a great adaptation of the traditional style. Will your next story be one derived from a witty lesson, or you will try a new style of story? A suggestion I might give you is delving more into the origins of your story. I like how you explained that you are interested in stories with a witty message or moral story but I don't really remember the original story of The Crocodile and the Monkey. Another suggestion is checking your introduction page, for me, it shows up as a blank page, you might check to see if it was a publishing issue. Other than that your project is really great so far, keep up the good work!
Hi TK, First of all, I absolutely love the photos on your page! The first photo, the personal picture of Lake St. Mary, is beautiful, and the image of the snake eating a frog is captivating and also startling whenever we click on your page. It is a wonderful way to set the stage for your story and to draw the reader's interest. Your story is really interesting and I love the underdog approach because a tick is so much smaller and seemingly weaker than a frog, but it ends up being the antagonist! Your author's note gives great detail about the story and the characters, including the reason you wrote it, but I suggest placing it at the end of the page after your story. It gave a more background information to flesh out the story, but I think that it would be really impactful after we read the story to then give meaning and purpose after the fact so we can connect the message to the dialogue. If you still want to give some introduction, you could place an 'intro' part right before the story to say that a little tick can show great intelligence and courage. Sincerely, Rachel
TK, I could not see anything in your intro section as it was blank but did get to read your story on the tick and the frog. Wow! This tory was short and wonderful and contains great dialogue between the characters. I really liked how the tick outsmarted the frog and fed him to the snake. This story built on the theme we have so often seen in this course about the underdog rising from the ashes and defeating their enemy. In this story the underdog was the small tick and the enemy was the mean bullfrog. I really look forward to reading more of your stories on this portfolio and wish you the best as you continue this semester.
Hi TK, I read your first story and I found it to be great! I definitely enjoy these witty stories with smaller creatures outsmarting its predators. This is also why I wrote a story similar to yours about a crane and a crab. I like that the dialogues were easy to follow and the story had a good flow that made the whole thing make sense. I often struggle to make the story seem whole. I also really enjoyed reading your author's note! I abhor ticks and it sucks that there was a tree that had so much ticks on them! I would have burned it to the ground if I could. Great work on the story and I"ll come back to read the second story sometime!
Hello TK,I always enjoy reading your author's note and your stories in general. I like how you stick with a more informal tone in the author's note, I feel like it allows you to reflect your true self and personality a bit more. I really like reading your stories as well, the style of writing you use makes the story more interesting and enjoyable to follow. For Story 2, I would suggest you lengthen the first paragraph and maybe break it up into several paragraphs to clarify and explain more in detail the set up fo your story. I can see that there is a lot of background information and drama that happened prior to the story, and it seemed somewhat rushed and hard to get straight right off the bat. Other than that, I think that you used dialogue to advance the story well. I wasn't expecting the twist and backstabbing from one of the "loyal" knights at the end! I'm excited to see where you take the story and how it will play out.
Hi Taeam! I just read your first story, and I'm really enjoying your project so far! First, I just wanted to say that I couldn't view your introduction, and I wasn't sure if it just got deleted or was something I was doing! It might just have been that my computer wasn't loading it, but I thought I would let you know just in case! Anyways, I really liked your story titled "the smaller the... Better?" and I thought it was a great attention grabber right from the beginning. In your author's note, you talked about how trickery and deception really make a story, and I think it's great that you incorporated elements that you find interesting in other stories. It's always good to write about things that you find fun! I've loved reading about the stories and projects that were based on the Jatakas, as they are so easy to make your own. Great work on this project!
Hi Taeam, I really liked reading your project. I read your first story this week. I liked how you decided to put the author's note first before you started telling the story. It allowed me to have a better understanding of why you wrote a certain thing and the meaning behind it. As for your story, I was really impressed. I feel like a lot of the stories in the epic revolve around the underdog winning against all odds. Your story was written very clear and concise. I wasn't unsure of anything and I felt like you wrote enough to the point where I wouldn't have needed an author's note to see the meaning behind something. I liked the characters in this story. I wouldn't have ever thought to write a tick as a character. Good work this week. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
Hey Taem! I have just finished reading the first story of your project! I must say you did a fantastic job so far! I did have a question about the intro. When I went to the intro tab on you page it just kept taking me to a blank page and continued to do so even if I refreshed it. I don’t know if you intended it that way or maybe it was on my end. I thought it might be worth mentioning. I also thought it was different to have the authors note in the beginning of your story instead of the end, it’s a unique set up I have not seen before. I really enjoyed your story of the little tick Alada ( cute name!) and that its name was inspired by Aladdin. I am not particularly fond of ticks but Alada seems pretty cool. I also liked at the end when the snake had the frog the tick had an attitude of sorry man, you gotta do what you gotta do. I thought that was a nice touch of humor! Great job and looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hello Taem, first I want to start off by saying that you have a very noticeable and eye-catching title for your projects. This creativity is a great way to get noticed by others. I like how you add a moral or theme to your stories, as this is also a common theme I try to shoot for. I think you did a great job in grabbing the attention to detail in the characters and their objectives in the story. I think you were also able to maintain the common theme of morals and lessons in your story. I would think about other techniques of writing where you could still incorporate morals and lessons in your stories. This would be a great way of showing versatility in your writing thus giving your writing an edge in the game. Overall I would say you did a phenomenal job in your portfolio. Keep up the great work.
Hi Taeam,Interesting choice, making the hero of your story a tick, given your past experiences with them! I liked how you changed your story so that unlike in the Crab and the Crane, where the Crane tricks the crabs for his own gain, the trickster of your story has to dispose of the frog in order to help his fellow ticks. The addition of the snake as an accomplice was also a nice touch.In your second story, I like how you gave the brothers both R names. It kind of reminded me of the rivalry between Romulus and Remus. I looked up the name Rozinante because I thought it sounded cool, and it turns out it's the name of Don Quixote's horse!I also liked how you added the twist of betrayal, which as far as I recall was not present in the Mahabharata. My favorite part is the last scene, when Rozinante and Raul are about to fight. The thunderstorm and the description of lightnint dancing across the sky make the scene really exciting!
Hi Taeam!Your Storybook looks good! I would like to see more photos on the story pages but it is definitely accessible and easy to navigate. I would also recommend giving each page its own title instead of just putting story one and two. With a title, your reader gets more insight into what they're getting themselves into.As to your stories, the first one was yucky! The idea of a tick that is big enough to eat a bull frog is terrifying, ha ha. I really hated picturing it. The whole thing about him smelling the blood and knowing that he will be okay was just, ugh, it was just gross. In a good way though! Other than that, your stories look and read pretty well. Referring back to the adding in photos things, I'm really glad that you did not add in any pictures of ticks so thank you for that!Good work here! I look forward to seeing what it turns into.